So yesterday I met a South African man married to a German woman who has two kids… As usual you meet a fellow African in these ends of the world and you wanna touch base. When I say African believe me I don’t mean black. He is white. In a weird sense meeting someone from home restores you back to sanity level when you are border line about to loose it.
So we were touching base and he asked me why Germany/ Europe. To be frank I always ask myself that question. Cleo why not go back and be at home and figure it out at home. After ranting about opportunities and education and blah blah blah (I was six glasses in on the rum and coke) no solid answer left my mouth. In all honesty I was trying not to say anything that will make home look like a shit show!
So in a bid to get myself out of this I asked him the same question. Why bring your family here. And his answer to some extent sobered the rum out of me.
He said : Cleo I have two kids, one boy and one girl… I may not be as free here as I am at home granted but my children are free. My son can run out of the house waiting for me to come open the car and I will not have a heart attack thinking he has been kidnapped. My daughter can wear her cute little shorts and I don’t have to make her run and change like Something is wrong with her body when ideally I just want to tell her no baby girl nothing is wrong with you but so many things are wrong with the world. And even if she dresses up as in a long gown… it won’t make a difference back home. And I get it kidnappings and rape happens here too but if it happens it’s a whole documentary. Back home it is business as usual. I love South Africa and I love my continent but it cannot offer my children the freedom I think they deserve or the peace of mind I want when it comes to them. They can go to school and God forbid things don’t work out they don’t have to worry about how they will go to school because I pay tax to a system that works. Freedom is relative I get it but I have picked my freedom.
So at this point I just froze and I went to the bathroom and started reflecting on recent issues back home and Lord knows I love 🇰🇪 and I have done Europe the last four years of my life with mad uncertainties and anxiety. But the internal conflict is real… it’s more like choose the freedom you desire! Then comes the guilt in me, so what happens to those who have no choice and they get what is there! Uuuufff I just want to be a kid again! Also I need this headache to go away!