How to use dating websites to make new friends

What happens when you are just looking for friends?

Nothing serious, just a plutonic relationship and your medium is a dating website? This may sound laughable but still, dating websites, but strictly for friendship. What a concept!

You would be surprised at how many people are interested in this, just as you may be. There are people who are as invested in friendship as they are with a romantic relationship.

This is not strange because apps such as Tinder were not created with the aim of dating in mind. Tinder was initially for social discovery in general. The founders wanted to create an efficient way to meet people around you who you probably would have never met before.

Making friends as an adult is difficult. You have to balance work, school, family, gym sessions and so much more. The friends you already have are either married, having kids or making major career moves, so meeting new people becomes impractical.

It won’t be easy but here are a few rules to find a great friend match.

  1. Be Direct

If you are looking for friends, make it known from the beginning. Don’t wait and say something until the very end if they ask you a question about it. Don’t say it bluntly tough. If you are too direct, it may come off as if you are arrogant and bitter.

If its on your profile, you could write something like “Looking to meet new people to make great memories with. Swipe right and let’s get to know each other.”

Don’t great potential matches with a list of Do’s and Don’ts!

“Don’t message me if you are looking form sex!”

“Don’t message me if you want nudes!”

“Only here for friendship!”

Well that may be true but it gives a negative impression. Say what you mean politely. The people who swiped right on you after reading that would understand and accept your terms.

  1. Change your settings

Change your settings to match both male and female on the website. That is, if you are heterosexual, change it to match the same sex and if you are homosexual, change the setting to match the opposite sex.

Look through the pool of matches and identify the least likely to see you as a romantic target. Look at the photos click on those that look like they have the same interests as you.

For example, if you are a man who likes going out for drinks, match profiles with pictures that have them in pubs, or casually holding a beer in their hand. If you like nature, look for matches with pictures of them hiking, skiing, having a picnic or any other outdoors activity.

These are the kind of people that would find you interesting as well and you have a better chance of clicking in person, not just on the dating website.

  1. Have a set mindset

Go into it with the end goal in mind, friendship. Frame it in your mind and set boundaries that you won’t cross. There’s nothing worse than falling for a friend and they don’t feel the same way. It is the kiss of death.

Starting a “mission” then changing your mind in the middle will only get you hurt. Especially if you have made your intentions known from the beginning. You will look confused and desperate. Save the relationship drama for the “real” relationship.

  1. Read their profiles keenly

Most people rarely read user profiles. We are so quick to swipe because the pictures are so appealing. It is easier to be caught by the eyes than to be caught by the mind, especially if you are a man.

However, this is where you find the answers to the questions you probably have in mind. It is where a person describes themselves first. Their, name, age, job and hobbies. They explain their personality.

You will learn a lot about the person before you even talk to them.  Pay attention to your profile as well. Be descriptive with the person that you are and upload decent, fun photos. This will increase your chances of finding a new friend online.

  1. Don’t do it if you are in a relationship

Don’t do it. There’s just too much temptation. Even if your intentions are pure, the road to infidelity is a dangerous one. Friendship is a gateway to romance and if you already have your happily ever after, don’t ruin it looking for a little fun.

Also, you really don’t want your face on dating websites if you are in a committed relationship. Your partner may see it and also your mutual friends. It’s not a good look. Unless the relationship is already ending and you are looking for something new. But even then, break up with your partner first then join a dating website.


Finding friends online is something some people could benefit from, especially when travelling or completely moving to a new place.

However, you have to put a lot of work in because leaving conversations hanging with the thought that this person is not a romantic interest will not achieve anything productive.

Friendships are built the same way, online and offline. Showing interest in the other person, regular conversations and mutual respect.  The online chemistry needs to be maintained just as it would be in person.

The risk is big and you have no clue about who you will match with but anything worth having is a risk. If you are lucky, the person on the other end of the screen could be your best friend for life.

Types of Friends: Exercise partners, couple friends, new parents groups, book clubs, dinner party clubs, just someone to have coffee with and talk about life

Whether it’s simply a group full of people of a similar age, or a keen bunch of tech or fitness fans, there should be something for you.

You may also want to read: Things Women Never Tell Men 

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